Mummy I am old enough to look after myself - toddler meltdowns.
When I am with my toddler I am amazed that within such short periods of time I can feel such a variety of different emotions.
Yesterday, I was happily enjoying the company of my toddler we had just been for a baby chino with my parents. It was a lovely afternoon and apart from the usual issues about him wanting chocolate everything was running smoothly.
When we began walking to the car park I was holding his hand and he began pulling it away from me. I kept saying, "Give me your hand please," but something in that moment made him not want to listen my instructions. He kept pulling his hand away.
At this point I was angry and I wanted to get to the car safely so I made sure I did not let go of his hand.
Now he was not happy at all and he began shouting, "Leave me alone mummy. I am old enough to look after myself." He was angry with me I could see it in his eyes. His face totally changed as he repeatedly told me that, "he is a big boy now and can look after himself. "
At this point I was just as angry. Why was he shouting me? I do so much for him I am so exhausted all the time but I still try and do everything I can for him.
I was very close to shouting back. So close.
I took a deep breath, knelt down to his height and talked him through why I held him hand. It's dangerous he is not old enough yet. I am a grown up he is not . It is my duty to look after him until he is older. He is my son and I want to keep him safe. I told him I love him.
This was hard for me I wanted to scream at him. Luckily my dad was with me and he was with the baby so I had the time to focus on the toddler otherwise to be honest if i had been alone with both children I would have shouted at him.
Through this I realised writting my thoughts down and sharing them with you helps me, it makes me want to be better at handling situations like this.
I saw a different angry in my sons eyes he was angry at his mum like I was at times when I was teenager.
In the end he did calm down and he did say sorry mummy. It was okay and it will always be okay but I know that this is just the beginning.
Lots of love,
Mum to boys