Happy birthday to you my baby boy
Happy Mother’s Day to me.
Exactly four years ago today I gave birth to you but as they say, the day a baby is born a Mother is also born. – Today for me is like my very own Mother’s Day.
I really can’t quite believe that today you turn four. I do not want to sit here and say that time has flown by so fast because truthfully I do not think it really has. Motherhood is a very unique experience. Some days have been picture perfect and I have been able to enjoy precious moments with you. There have also been days that were extremely challenging and at times I found myself watching the clock and waiting for bedtime. Everyday has taught me something new and each day has been a journey in itself.
Through this journey I have learnt so much about myself, I have seen some strengths which I did not know I even had and I have portrayed many weaknesses which I wish I didn’t have.
You have taught me so much about life but more than anything you have taught me so much about myself.
When I was pregnant with you I had so many internal fears and questions about my ability as a Mother.
I have never really been very good at sharing my emotions. I am not into public displays of affection, I hardly hug my friends and I find it very hard to show my appreciation and love to my husband and family. I wondered how I would be with you. Would I be able to kiss and cuddle you or express how much I loved you? - Thankfully you showed me that I could.
Since a very young age my mood depended on my sleep and to be honest I couldn't really function very well without having a good night’s rest. I wondered would I know how to handle sleepless nights and everything that came with a baby. - Thankfully you showed me that I could.
When I was in my teens and throughout university I couldn't really handle negativity and crisis situations. When I was pregnant I wondered would I be able to cope with the challenges that come with Motherhood. Thankfully, you showed me that I could.
I would worry would I be good enough for you? Would I make the right choices for you? Would I know when to feed you or how to teach you? Would I be able to look at the world through your eyes? - looking back now I think I can say that I have tried my best to make the best decisions for you. I know that I have made mistakes, and for that I am sorry. Even when things have gone wrong you have taught me to keep trying and to not give up. Being your Mummy has taught me that one bad day or bad incident doesn’t mean I have failed. It just means I need to keep trying.
There is something very special about being your Mummy. You have given me the confidence that no man has ever been able to give me. You have taught me to love my body, to be confident in my choices, and to appreciate the simplest things in life. You have taught me that a bad day does not mean I am a bad Mother. You have shown me the true meaning of unconditional love.
This year I have noticed, that you have really grown up. You prefer spending time with the male figures in your life. You now call me Mum instead of Mummy. You are that little bit more self-sufficient and soon you will be going to “big school.” Even though your personality is evolving and things are changing around us I can see that our love in strong. No matter how old you are you will always be my baby boy.
Thank you my baby boy for choosing me and giving me life as a Mother.
Lots of love