I want you to know that you hold
a very special place in my heart.
Mothering you has taught me a lifelong lesson. I have learnt to slow down and to appreciate every tender moment.
Having been a Mother to your older brother, I now realize the importance of savouring each and every second, as time really does fly by. So I want to thank you for teaching me to slow down. In doing so I have been able to sit back, appreciate and actually reflect on daily life. This has allowed me to try and be a better Mother to both you and your brother.
Just over 19 months ago when I found out you were coming into this world I felt a sense of relief. Deep down, I felt that I was ready to be a Mother for the second time. A part of me felt nervous; would I remember how to care for a new-born baby again? Would I be able to manage the late nights, nappy changes and hours of breastfeeding? I was worried that I had forgotten the basics, but the moment you arrived it all just seemed to fall into place and within a few hours I was able to call myself a Mum to two boys.
I have to admit that when I found out you were a boy I had mixed emotions. I never imagined myself as a Mother of boys. It took me some time to digest the fact that I would be surrounded by boys my whole life. Would I feel left out? How would I cope? I even wondered whether I would be able to manage two young boys and a husband?
Than over time as my pregnancy progressed and I felt those little flutters inside me I realised that God had a plan. He had chosen me to be your Mother and he had handpicked you to come and join our little family.
Just a few weeks before you entered our world I had to spend a few days in hospital. Until this point I had never spent a night away from your brother. I was so worried would he be okay without me? Would he cry without me? I spent those 3 nights tossing and turning wondering how Daddy was coping with your brother. Luckily after a few days I was back at home, resting and waiting for your arrival.
Than exactly a year ago today you made your appearance and everything around me came to a standstill. My mind and my body stopped worrying about your brother. It was as if I had been given a trial run a few weeks prior to your arrival. I understood that Daddy and your brother would be fine without me.
Your arrival taught me that I needed to take a moment and appreciate the miracle of life. Holding you in my arms made me realise that I needed to focus on you entirely. You needed me and I needed you. As I held you and as we began our first feed, my heart grew for you, and I fell in love again just as I did with your older brother.
We ended up staying in the hospital for a few extra days. For those four days you and I had very little knowledge of the outside world and this allowed me to bond with you in an incredibly special way. I loved you exactly the way I wanted without any interference, without any interruptions, and without any nerves.
You see, the second time as a Mother I knew what to expect. I had been in the same situation before but last time my experience was filled with fear and nerves. There was almost a sense of déjà vu for me. The difference being was that all of the fears and anxieties first time Mothers have were non-existent. I was experienced as I had been through this all before with your older brother.
Spending a few extra nights in hospital meant I was able to completely focus on you and your needs. We spent hours sharing skin to skin contact. I tried my hardest to hold you as close as possible and take in every second we had together alone because I knew that these moments wouldn’t last long.
You my little boy have taught me to live in the moment and to appreciate every second. Watching you and your brother interact brings me so much joy and I cannot wait to see you both grow up together. I want you to know that I love you more than life itself. You and your brother complete me. Now being a Mother of two, my days are filled with double the responsibility, double the love, and double the gratitude.
Thank you both for choosing me.
Lots of Love