My little man is leading his Mummy and his family through a new adventure.
Over the last few weeks, I have begun to feel a different type of emotion as I pick my eldest son from his new school. The only way I can think to describe it as, is excitement. I almost feel like a teenager again. I tend to quickly park up and rush to his classroom and I try to peek through his classroom window hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
As he comes out of his classroom and greets me, I really feel like giving him a big hug and a kiss just like I used to after his nursery pick up. However, now that he is a, “big boy,” he has given me strict instructions that kisses and cuddles are not allowed at school. To be honest even though he appears to be happy to see me, most of the time he is more interested in finding out what snacks I have for him in the car.
As we say our goodbyes to his classmates and walk towards the carpark, I begin to ask him questions about his day.
What did you have for lunch today?
Who did you play with?
What did you have at snack time?
Did you have fun?
Are you happy at school?
I could go on and on with questions.
Most of the time as we drive home I have to control myself and give him a little space and time to settle before my curiosity gets the better of me. All these questions may be due to the fact that for the first four years of my son’s life he spent the majority of his time with me and now, he spends the majority of his day in school, away from me.
I have heard that it is natural for parents especially Mothers to feel a little empty and emotional once their children start school and I suppose I am no exception. To put it plain and simple, I miss him and I feel like everything has changed.
Our days are now spent creating routines and our life as a family seems to have changed. Our mornings tend to fly by. My son wakes up, gets ready and has his breakfast all within an hour. My husband does the morning school run so by 7.45am they're off.
After school, the evenings are just as fast. Once he is home, he spends some time playing, followed by bath and dinner. Once dinner is finished we spend the rest of the evening either doing homework or reading and then it is bedtime.
Everything just seems so different.
As I sit back and reflect over the first few weeks of school, I realise how very fortunate I have been. Over the last few years I have been able to spend a great deal of time with my son. We have spent countless hours playing together and venturing out and now I know that I will never get that time back again with him. Truthfully over the last four years some days I have found really hard and I did struggle, but now I feel extremely grateful. As deep down in my heart I know that things will never be the same again.
Even though I really miss my son and wish I had him close, I realise that going to school is a natural progression and the next step in life. As much as I miss him, I know that he is ready for a new challenge and new environment and I hope that we have equipped him with the correct skills which will help him tackle these new experiences.
I am sure that over the next few weeks, we will find our feet and settle into a routine but a part of me feels that I have my lost my little baby. Now it feels as if the last four years have flown by and my little boy has turned into a little man.
A little man who is leading his Mummy and his family through a new adventure.
Lots of love
Mum to Boys